Finding your purpose can feel like an incredibly daunting mission. Everyone talks about walking in purpose and impacting the lives of others by doing so. You look on social media and you see people doing what they love for a living and you sit there in a cloud of confusion, doubt, and anxiety thinking, “Well, what is my purpose? What was I created to do?”
I remember thinking those exact same thoughts in 2013, the year after I graduated university. I went to school to become an OB/GYN. All my adolescent life, I KNEW I was supposed to be a doctor. Whenever someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the word “doctor” would spring out of my mouth so fast. I had no doubts. I had no hesitations. At least, not until about 6 months before graduation. As I began to study for the medical school entry exam, I started to feel really anxious and uneasy. I pushed through with the studying, but that nagging feeling never left. I just had an achiness in my heart that medical school would be a mistake for me. I’ve always been a woman to listen to any nudging in my spirit, so I decided to stop the studying and drop the doctor dream altogether. What I had dreamt of and pursued for the last sixteen school years of my life was over within a month. And just like that, I found myself in limbo regarding what I was going to do with my life. That thought trickled down to the root of my dilemma, which was truly, “Who am I?”
I know now that my identity is not my purpose. Rather, my purpose is intertwined in me being who I am. Naturally and authentically. This beautiful truth has removed so much pressure off of me to chase down and find my purpose. I wish I had known this after I graduated, though. After my decision to nix medical school, I literally felt like I was walking in a cloud of nothingness. I had a job, so I tried to make my job my purpose by working ambitiously to climb the ranks. Striving and meeting career goals was exciting for a while, but I quickly found myself burned out and tired. I had no passion for what I was doing and I felt like I was just being busy simply to feel like I was doing something with my life. I remember sitting before the Lord and asking Him, “Please, show me my purpose.” I would pray every single day. I would cry myself to sleep wondering what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to do it. The answer seemed to elude me and I really just felt so empty.
One thing I would do during my quiet time with the Lord is I would journal. Journaling was something I did ever since I learned how to hold a pencil, so it was natural for me. I would write poetry and songs about my past, the things I was presently experiencing, and things to come. The more I would wonder about what I was created for, the more I found myself writing! One day, it dawned on me that I was a writer. Naturally and authentically. It wasn’t something that I needed to wield myself into being. I simply was. That day, five years ago, was the day that everything changed in my life. From that day up until now, I have been so fulfilled through writing. I have met incredible people and I’ve had opportunities come into my life that I never dreamed I would experience. I am so thankful that God didn’t say, “This is what I created you to do.” Instead, he walked me right into it during my quiet moments with Him; during the moments of me doing what was innate to my soul and my heart.
Now, I know who I am. I’m a child of the Most High God. I also know that I was created to use my words to impact the world around me. One thing about purpose, though, is that the more you walk in it, the more you discover about it. There are many things that have sprung forth from my desire to write that I never thought about doing before. Speaking. Teaching. Forming small groups with other women and building community. So, to be honest, I don’t yet know what all I was created to do. But I do know that I am going to spend the rest of my life discovering, uncovering, and walking with the Lord so that he can show me all of why he made me.
If you are in a place where you don’t quite know your purpose, simply rest and give yourself grace. You will know what you were created to do, but first, you have to be intentional about discovering who you are. Identity and purpose walk hand in hand, but you need one before you realize the other. Sometimes, that takes some time, and that’s okay. Don’t feel pressured by the world or society to be or do anything. First, be who you are. Love who you are. Live and explore the world around you and settle in and become comfortable with your present moments. I promise you that it will not be long before you recognize your purpose. Naturally and authentically.
So where are you at in your life? Are you in a place of understanding your identity, discovering your purpose, or have you been walking in your purpose for some time and you have nuggets of wisdom to share? Comment below for a chance to win a free copy of the Bella Grace Field Guide to Everyday Magic! Also, be sure to check out the banner below to revel in the wonderful works of some of my fellow writer friends!
With Lots of Love,